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5 Reasons why Hillary Clinton gasped in horror on Osama’s Death May 9, 2011

Posted by Ankit Poddar in Humor Rant.
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Hillary Clinton’s reaction on hearing news of Osama’s Death has created quite a furore. Of course, we make this judgement based on the number of hits, her reaction generates on Google, because that is how we measure news these days.

So, why did she? Why did she react in the following manner?

As has been  my wont, I will list down 5 reasons on why.

5. Is he really dead? That is sad to hear. I wanted to be his next trophy wife. Why Seals, why did you do it?

4. I wanted to hear the truth. But I can’t handle the truth. Yes, Kaffee, he was right.

3. No Bill, I am not going to take that in my mouth. You could get Monica to do that. You can get ‘n’ number of girls to do that for you. But I am not doing it.

2. How in the world are we going to sustain Pakistan now? That failed state, it needs our taxpayers’ money to sustain life there!

1. OMG! So, it is true. These niggas do have big ones. And come to think of it, I tried to contest against this man for the presidency. Had I only known then!

 

(Disclaimer: Work of Fiction. Do not attach any hatred or political motivation to this post, if you are not a moron)

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Osama found Dead – For Sachin May 2, 2011

Posted by Ankit Poddar in Cricket Rant, Humor Rant, Serious Rant.
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On Sunday, May 1, Osama Bin Laden was found dead in the evening. At least, that is what the reports coming in have confirmed. It is noteworthy that President Obama thanked Sachin Tendulkar in his speech while reporting the death to US of America.

Barack Obama delivers speech on Dead Osama

[Link unavailable] [Excerpts from Speech]

“We did it for Sachin. Just like the Indian team won the World Cup for him, we killed Osama Bin Laden for Sachin. Yes, we can!”

“It is a proud moment for all of us. We have finally managed to do something for Sachin. He has carried the burden of a billion living people on his shoulder. Now, it was time for us to stop carrying burden of killing a billion people and carrying them on our shoulders. The one man that made us to do that, we have killed him. No, not Sachin, I meant Osama there in the last sentence.”

“Osama was found dead in Pakistan. It is imperative to note that India have agreed in principle to tour that terror torn nation. And Sachin would be a part of that touring party.”

“We could not let Sachin go through the terror of playing in a country which hosted Osama. As we can not exert any force on BCCI and their decision making in cricket, hell nobody can, we decided to do the next best thing. We removed the threat. We killed Osama.”

“Yes, We Can. Yes, We Did. We Killed Osama. For Sachin”

The world has now taken a collective sigh of relief. All, they have managed to say is

Thank You Sachin

(Disclaimer: The words in the post above are completely my own and any occurrence of the said words by Barack himself, would be an infringement on copyright. That is, Barack never said it before me.)