jump to navigation

Key Board that Abuses August 31, 2010

Posted by Ankit Poddar in Humor Rant, Technology Rant.
Tags: , , , , , , , ,
1 comment so far

(Note: The following post is my entry for “My Demand Contest” on Indiblogger. I am happy with this theme of the contest, as it allows me to dwell upon my childhood dream of becoming a researcher before I bowed in to market demands to take up MBA.

The voting has already begun and I am already late. So, I am counting on you to get me that LaserJet.)

Ever experienced that feeling of disgust when you receive emails that have wrong spellings? Ever experienced the fury when your friends update their status messages with a sequence of hearts and alternately CaPpEd letters. Ever found yourself put off by the wrong grammar that has been put on your friend’s blog?

If you answered a resounding “Yes” to any of the above questions, you might want to read ahead, for what I propose would be to your liking. If you answered a big “No” to all of them, then you are an idiot. If you are one of these friends putting up such emails, posts or status updates, then well it is time I do something about you morons, right?!

So, what is this technology all about?


The proposed technology is a keyboard, an peripheral interface for Input to your computer, net-book or IPad, that shouts out messages every time you make a mistake. These messages would be of the form of choicest abuses and the keyboard would refuse to type further, unless you go back and correct the mistake.


If you type in a wrong spelling mistake

Why don’t you use a Spell Check when you type in words? It is very evident that you never went to Primary School and never had a chance to learn spellings. You might as well make use of the technology available to you then, and stop being such a fucking moron.

If you type in absurd grammar

Open that Wren & Martin that has been locked inside the cupboard, idiot! Your father bought you that bulky Rs. 600/- book to learn something and not use that as a pillow  in High School. Don’t you realize that reading your crap on screen is a humiliation for others?

If you type in alternating Caps

The Keyboard would simply start banging itself across your head.

Commercial Price:

Rs. 200/- ($3.99)

Commercial Tagline:

An ideal gift to your 28 year old friend, colleague or employee who refuses to learn.

I would still be happy if HP doesn’t wish to give me that LaserJet and instead invest that money in developing such a keyboard. So long as my life is made simple.

Funny Keyboard Pictures

(If you liked the above post and you are an Indiblogger, what stops you from promoting it? If there is something, I wish to know in the comments section.)