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What are the English gloating about? July 25, 2013

Posted by Ankit Poddar in Cricket Rant, Humor Rant.
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No seriously, what are they gloating about?

That they have a new prince? That they have won in rugby? That they have  a Brit Wimbledon champ after so long? That they have the Aussies on the mat in The Ashes?

You would read all the questions listed above and if you are an Englishman, respond with a resounding “Yeah!” So for the Englishmen, this is my response.

    1. You have  a new prince, in prince George Louis. Well, good for the namesake royalty. But really, is that really worth gloating about? That the father of the child had the balls to father a child? I belong to a country of over 120 cr. in population. Seriously, birthing a child is no big deal for us Indians, we bring a new life in this world almost every second.
    2. Rugby. Well, really who cares about that sport in India. Sachin Tendulkar doesn’t play rugby.
    3. Brit Wimbledon champ. Well, for one, it is just one of the Slams held every year and it shows the lack of depth in the English tennis lines that you did not have a champ in a slam held in your country for so many years. And for second, weren’t we reminded every year of Andy Murray’s Scottish background until this one? Suddenly, he is all Brit?
    4. The Ashes. Australia have lost only 2 of the first 2 tests in the 5 test match series and boy, they have every chance in hell to make a fightback happen and win the Ashes urn this time around. Well, may not every chance in hell, but a mathematical / statistical chance nevertheless. So why don’t you first ensure that the series is indeed won and the urn is locked in your cupboards for the next 15 4 months.

No seriously, what are they gloating about?

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That Ian Bell Run Out! August 1, 2011

Posted by Ankit Poddar in Cricket Rant.
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I had decided that I wasn’t going to write on cricket here. Something on the lines of a retirement from writing on cricket or as some would say I was banned from it. But like a Pakistani cricketer, I have decided to come out of retirement for this issue of a freak run out makes me want to add my two cents to this issue! (Yeah, that two cents is a part of a homage to one of my favorite writer.)

 

Ian Bell was clearly out there, wasn’t he? He was out of his crease when the bails were taken off, the ball was still in play and Morgan knew about it. Hell, the umpires gave him out and I am sure they know the rules and hence the dismissal must have been within the rules of the game.

 

What for me isn’t within the rules of the game, and not even in the ill cited and often chided “Spirit of the Game”, was the way Andrew Strauss and Andy Flower walked up to MS Dhoni and Duncan Fletcher asking for reconsideration to the appeal. I am not sure what transpired within those walls, but I think that surely was disrespect to the game. The umpires are there for a job, they did their job and the captain and coach of the English team felt they were not good enough at it. They decided that it was necessary for them to walk up to the opposition captain because the umpire out there was a fool who gave Bell the dismissal. Well, that is at least how I read it.

 

The papers have been going on and on about the overturning the Bell dismissal and how ICC has appreciated Dhoni on his upholding the spirit of the game. Dear ICC, what about upholding the rules of the game?

 

The dismissal was within the rules of the game. So why over turn it? Because the opposition team decides it is time for good gestures and because they wouldn’t have felt great about being in Bell’s position. Frankly, had an Indian player decided to leave his crease when the ball was still in play, it should mean that he was stupid and sloppy enough to lead himself to a lazy dismissal after 137 runs.

 

Considering that ICC rules that fine players are applicable to only Indian (and SL and Pak) players, I would ask ICC to fine MSD for showing dissent to the umpire by asking an umpire’s decision to be overturned there! Such behaviour from MSD should not be tolerated. Today, he has decided to over turn Bell’s dismissal, tomorrow he is going to ask for only more. We can not let this bloody rich Indian cpatains and boys over turn an umpire’s call. Strauss and Flower are only fools, the real culprit is this rich Indian village boy, trying to rule this game under the cloak of its  “Spirit”.

 

Dear ICC, ban MSD for a match.

Meaning of Ashes to an Indian November 28, 2010

Posted by Ankit Poddar in Cricket Rant, Humor Rant.
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3 comments

Until and unless, you are a PIO (Person of Indian Origin) in Australia, The Ashes do not mean much to you, other than a Test Series of 5 matches being played in England or Down Under between two unevenly matched sides. Or so you thought!

The Ashes mean much more than that to an average Indian. I have made a list of 3 things that The Ashes means to us.

3. The Ashes are related to Haridwar and to a lot of mourning for an average Indian.

2. The Ashes are something they show in a lot of Hindi movies from Ram Lakhan to 3 Idiots, that form a major crux of the story line moving forward.

1. The Ashes are what they drank in Due Date, thinking of that as Coffee.

There are times when The Ashes might be used in a different context. However, these times are also as frequent, as they are used in the context of cricket. In these times, The Ashes might be mispronounce as Asses.

Like in the following context:

Those Assess think that they play better cricket than us. However, we showed them what are true potential is by not letting them win after the Sydney episode. Assess!

In no context, do the Ashes mean the following to Indians

3. The Ashes

2. The best cricket series involving Australia. That is called the Border Gavaskar Trophy.

1. The most important battle in cricket heritage. That is India v/s Pakistan.